Going through a divorce can be highly stressful and emotional. Once it’s finalized, you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders and you have a new lease on life.
In addition to starting a new life, at some point you may begin to date as well. Questions such as “Am I ready?” or “Is it to early?” come into play.
If there were no children involved in your previous relationship, then start dating when you truly feel that you are emotionally ready to take on a new relationship. You should never jump into a new relationship without healing yourself first. It is also not wise to date out of spite in order to upset your ex-spouse.
If you have children, this rule still applies, but you have more to think about before taking that step. Always put your kids first and do not introduce them to anyone until you are certain that the relationship is healthy and stable. If your children are old enough to access the Internet, you should also be mindful of what you post on social media as well.
Positive Post-Divorce Practices for Children
As a parent, here are ways to keep your children emotionally healthy after divorce:
- Don’t minimalize or diminish their valid feelings. Let them know that their parents are here for them and will work through it together.
- Don’t lie. Giving false hope or omitting details is the same as lying. If you know that there is no chance you and your ex-spouse will get back together, find an appropriate way to let the child know that. Never say things like “We’ll see” or “I don’t know.”
- Reassure children that the demise of the relationship was not their fault.
- Remind children that both parents still love them.
- Don’t try to block your ex’s visitation time.
- No bad-mouthing. Refrain from voicing your personal opinion of the other parent around the child.
- Encourage communication. Be sure to continue to ensure that the children still speak to the other parent regularly.
- Be age appropriate. Only discuss details of the divorce that makes sense for the child’s age.
Remember, sometimes your ex might take issue with your new dating life; possibly even using it to influence your children or custody agreement. If you are going through a child custody or visitation battle and are seeking counsel, contact the Law Offices of Paul A. Boronow, PC, at (516) 227-5353.