Thanksgiving has come and gone and Christmas is on deck. We’re right in the middle of another holiday season. This time of year is hard for many people, but it can be especially rough if you’ve just gone through a separation or divorce.
Here are a few ideas on how to keep the holidays bright during a dark time:
- Let go of the past. Trying to re-create what your holidays “used to be” is painful. And, it won’t help your mood. Accept that things have changed, and that means so have your holidays. This doesn’t mean they aren’t going to be as great, they’ll just be different and new.
- Make new traditions. Find a new gingerbread man recipe, pick a specific version of A Christmas Carol to watch on TV; do something new and let your kids know you’re going to do it every year. New traditions are hard to get going, but can bring a lot of comfort.
- Stick to court ordered custody schedules. This is not the time to start a custody or visitation fight. Make sure you and your ex have all your dates agreed to before the holidays. If you don’t like the schedule, be sure to change it before next year. If you can’t be with your kids Christmas morning, call them. Being in contact is what matters.
- Buy yourself something. Sometimes the best person to get a gift for is you. The new iPhone, fancy shoes—whatever puts a smile on your face. There’s nothing wrong with picking yourself up.
- Take the kids to buy their other parent a gift. Even if your separation has been rough, your ex is still the kid’s parent. They love that person no matter what your feelings about them are. Your feelings shouldn’t rub off on the kids. Take this chance to show them what the holidays really mean.
- Volunteer. Giving to others can and will take the focus off your own problems. Research local volunteer opportunities and help out your community. Invite a friend, bring your children, or enjoy helping on your own. The season is about feeling and sharing joy. Volunteering can help you as much as it helps others.
- Don’t stress yourself out. Remember, a divorce isn’t the end of the world. You need to stay strong for not only your kids, but yourself. The holidays are a time to celebrate, don’t forget that.
The Law Offices of Paul A. Boronow, PC hopes you have a healthy, happy holiday season.